Questions about Love

Asking questions about love can feel intimidating - but it doesn’t have to be! At Vertellis, we know the key to deepening any relationship is to ask good questions: ones that make you laugh, make you think, and ultimately, make you closer. Questions on love are the ones that really make you connect.

Today, we’re sharing 31 deep questions to ask about love to help you deepen your relationships. You can use these to help you fall in love with a new partner, strengthen the everlasting bond with your true love, and even get closer to friends and family. Wherever you are in your relationship, we’ve got the questions about love to ask!

P.S. While you’re at it, take a look at our blog: questions to ask your partner

31 Questions About Love

Our Questions about love are divided into 3 sections to make it easier for you to find the right deep conversation topics. The questions will get more personal and intimate with each section, allowing you and your partner to slowly get more vulnerable with one another.

Warm-Up Questions About Love

Here, you’re warming up the gears. These questions about love are more fun, positive and playful. Start with these!

1. If you had the attention of the world for 15 seconds, what would you say?
2. If you didn’t need to earn money, how would you spend your time?
3. Who are you closest to in your family?
4. Who was your childhood celebrity crush?
5. What’s something that we have in common?
6. What would be a “perfect” day for you?
7. What’s your favorite season and why?
8. What would you like to be famous for and why?
9. What are you most grateful for in your life?
10. What’s your proudest moment thus far?

The Middle: Deep questions about Love and Relationships

Now that you’re warmed up, we start getting more intimate and vulnerable. These deep conversation topics about love really tell you something about your partner!

11. Is there anything you’ve dreamed of doing that you haven’t done yet? What’s stopped you?
12. What do you value most in a romantic relationship?
13. How did your parents show affection to you when you were a kid?
14. Did you have a happy childhood?
15. If you could change one thing about your life right now, what would it be?
16. What is your love language? (Don’t know? Take a quiz to learn!)
17. How do you know you love someone?
18. Would you want to know what will happen in your future? Why or why not?
19. When you’re nearing the end of your life, what are you afraid you’ll regret?
20. What’s your most cherished memory?

Questions to ask about Love: The Home Stretch

Trust has been established, so let’s go deeper. These are the most intimate and vulnerable questions on love. Take your time here - there is a lot to learn if you allow each other to go deep and get honest. These questions are meant to make you think.

21. Are you comfortable sharing your secrets with me? Why or why not?
22. How do you think you’ll die?
23. What do you appreciate most about me?
24. What do you think our biggest challenge is as a couple and how can we work on it together?
25. What is our biggest strength as a couple? 
26. If you died right now, is there anything you’d regret not telling someone?
27. If you could erase one moment from your life, what would it be?
28. What do you look forward to experiencing with me in the next year?
29. If you could only keep one possession, what would it be?
30. What’s one thing you’ve never told me?
31. What’s one thing I can do to make you feel even more supported?

Why should you talk about these conversation topics?

They say the key to love is mutual vulnerability, meaning deep and reciprocated personal disclosure. Why? Because it requires trust! That’s why these questions about love and relationships go beyond the standard surface-level queries and small talk. 

However, even though the goal here is to go deep, we’ve found that people are more willing to open up truthfully if the layers are gradually peeled back. That's why we’ve divided our 31 questions about love and relationships into three manageable chunks. 

My Partner doesn't want to answer Questions on Love

With any deep, meaningful conversation about love and relationships, it’s natural to have hesitation. After all, in a way, you’re baring your soul to the other person! That can be scary no matter who you’re talking to. 

If your partner is hesitant to dive into these questions, first of all, don’t push. That may only turn them off to the idea even more. You’ll only get to ask deep questions about love when mutual trust is established.

However, you can let them know why this is important to you. Perhaps you want to create more love in the relationship or learn more about them so you can support them better. Whatever reason is true to you, share that with your partner to help open the lines of communication.

Other steps to get your Partner to open up about Love

Next, let your partner know this isn’t meant to be an interrogation. It’s a back and forth. You’ll ask questions on love, but they also get to ask questions, too! And maybe you can set a good example by offering to go first and sharing an honest, vulnerable answer. 

Finally, we didn’t design these to be tricky love questions, but they are designed to make you think and be vulnerable with your partner. And sometimes, a question may hit a nerve or bring something up that your partner isn’t comfortable talking about. That’s okay. Have patience with them, and let your partner know you would love to know their answer if and when they feel comfortable sharing with you.

More Questions about Love to ask 

One more thing...depending on where you are in your relationship, this may not be the right time to ask questions as deep as these! If you’re wanting to learn more about a new acquaintance or someone you’re crushing on, why not start with some more playful questions about love to ask your boyfriend, like fun questions to ask your crush or questions to ask your boyfriend.

Is there a “right” way to ask these questions?

Absolutely not! Here’s the thing—we love the way we’ve designed the flow of this question series about love (from more playful to more intimate), but the best thing about asking your partner questions about love and relationships is that there are no rules to this game. 

However, we do have some suggestions and tips to make asking and answering these love questions more enjoyable and effective. Take what works for you and leave what doesn’t. You know your relationship best. 🙂 These tips might help you as well: 

1. Make the time & set the scene

In this day and age, it’s easy for our lives to feel too “full” to take the time to slow down and connect with our partner in a meaningful way. However, that is how you will get the most out of these questions and, in our opinion, is crucial for a lasting, healthy relationship.

For each of you to feel safe enough to open up and share vulnerable parts of yourself, you must give each other your undivided attention to answer these deep questions about love. What does that look like?

• Schedule this time to connect with one another and ask these questions. Date nights are great for this!
• Turn off your phone, TV, and any other electronic distractions.
• If you have children, make sure they’re either not at home, asleep, or with a sitter.
• Set the mood: light candles, have your favorite beverage, essentially get cozy and close with one another.

2. No need to answer these questions all at once

At Vertellis, we believe in the quality of answers, not the quantity. This isn’t about how many questions of love you can fire off in an hour, it’s about connecting more deeply and creating more love with your partner.

What does that mean? No need to get through all 31 questions in one sitting. Perhaps you’ll ask one question and talk all night about your answers—and that’s great! Go into these questions without a goal. Let the conversation go where it may. These love questions will always be there for you to ask at a later time.

3. Get creative!

As we just said, there is no right or wrong when it comes to asking questions about love. Every couple is different, so we encourage you to think about what would be best for you and your partner. You could choose to:

• Answer the questions top to bottom on a given night.
• Ask each other one question before bed each night. (One of our Vertellis team members does this with her partner using the Vertellis Relationship Edition card game).
• Use these questions as journal prompts and then share your answers with one another.

Bring the questions to date night every week (a good goal 😉) until you finish them.

Are Love Questions just for Romantic Relationships?

These are love questions to ask your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, life partner - whatever kind of romantic relationship you have - but it doesn’t need to stop there. After all, these aren’t just deep questions about love to make you think- they’re questions about life!

These questions create more love in all types of relationships: from friendships, to family members, and beyond. And while some of these questions are specifically about romantic partnerships, you can simply skip over them or change the wording and have them pertain to any type of relationship.

Using these questions to fall in love

A question we often hear is: “Can you fall in love with anyone?”

Well, it depends on how you define love. We may not be able to consciously decide who we’re physically attracted to, but love can be created and nurtured when we get to know someone in an intimate and profound way. 

That’s why we designed these love questions to help foster intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. There are so many factors that go into falling in love, we would never want to claim that a set of questions will instantly turn someone into your true love (although...who knows?). 

But these questions can absolutely help create or deepen love between two people - whether that love is platonic or romantic. So we encourage you to ask these questions with multiple people! Whether it’s a new love or a true love, a dear friend or a close family member, there is always more to learn and love about a person. 

Creating your own questions about love to ask

Did these questions about love inspire you to ask your own? Great! Conversations are best when they are personal. 

If there are things you want to know about your partner that we didn’t touch upon in our questions above, by all means, ask some of your own, too!

Now, good relationship questions aren’t just a dime a dozen. They are crafted in a specific way to help the conversation go as deep as possible. 

What are good relationship questions?

If you haven’t noticed by now, we feel that a good question about love and relationships is simply a well-formulated question. It doesn’t necessarily need to be about the subject of ‘love’ or the relationship (although it can be…).

Really, a good relationship question is one that makes you and your partner think, teaches you something new about the other person and is open-ended - meaning it can’t be answered with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

Hot tip: if your partner ever gives you a one-word response or you want to know more about their answer, simply say “Tell me more.” People are more likely to open up and be vulnerable if they know the other party is truly interested in what they have to say.

I can’t think of any good Questions on Love!

Coming up with our own deep questions to ask someone doesn’t need to be arduous. Just ask yourself: 

• What do I really want to know about this person?
• What information do I need to make our relationship stronger?
• What am I most afraid to ask them?

Get still and listen to what comes up. Journal about it if you want to.

If you’re still feeling stuck, take a look at some personal questions to ask for a better relationship to get more inspiration. You could also check out the Vertellis Relationship Edition, a card game with some of our very favorite questions for couples.

Enjoy these Questions about Love!

We hope you’ve enjoyed these questions on love to ask your partner and can’t wait to hear how they strengthen your relationships. And remember, while asking someone questions to deepen your connection with them is important, be sure to spend time deepening your relationship with yourself, as well.. 🙂 Otherwise, these questions about love will probably not benefit you as they should.